Disappeared?

I know that I've disappeared.
I don't know why.
I've been busy with school & job hunting.
Someone has a job interview on Tuesday! WOOT!WOOT!
Honestly, I've had about four jobs lined up but none were interesting.
I wanted something better.
I know they say that beggars can't be choosy but dammit I sure was; even in this economy!

I'm not the only person that disappears. This guy that I've liked for years ( 3, I believe) likes to vanish for days. Sometimes I don't text him for days to see if he'll ever come around. I feel like the Time Traveler's Wife ;-/ If he likes me, why does he do this to me? I don't get it. He is busy, but is he really that busy? I can already tell that a relationship, the kind I would want, is not in the cards. I can't deal with someone who is here one minute and gone the next.

I feel like I have been loyal to him as a friend besides that one time...but everyone makes mistakes *shrugs* People come and go but I've always tried to be apart of his life even if he didn't want me to (He never said that). I always reach for the phone when I don't hear from him. I worry about him. I always feel the need to know how he is doing even if though I know his answers. It's usually "good" or "ok," very short and simple. I don't even know why I care so much! I'm an idiot. I miss him sometimes.I miss hearing from him.

At the rate that I'm going I need to move on because I am lonely. VERY LONELY. I don't want a serious relationship or bf-- just someone to hangout with, have some fun, cuddle, kiss, hug, and talk to. *SIGH* He is not around and if he disappears now, what will happen when I really want him here. I respect his life: goals and hectic schedule but, I have a life too.... I can see myself wanting things that he can't give ...time.